Emptiness...

Feeling empty inside....

I don´t know if that's because of the loss of my friend Jimmy, the loss of something I never had or simply it´s just me...empty...

The truth is: I miss the "fantasy", I miss the smile on my face and the sparkle in my eyes...And unfortunately,I miss your touch, your "know it all" expression, I miss you, damn it ! Even though you are not the person to be missed...You didn´t treat me well, you didn´t respect me and you don´t like me the way I like you...

Sometimes, or in this case, most of the times, I get irritated with myself, I get angry with myself for feeling like this. Frustrated because I miss a fantasy, frustrated for missing something that in fact I never had...

I lay at night wondering what are you doing, with whom and if all that we had was only in my mind. Did you felt something? Did you mean all the things you said, or was just empty words?

I have to fight the urge to text you, to say hi or say anything just to see if you reply but I´ve humiliated myself to much already and I wont do that again. It´s not worth it, you´re not worth it...

I deserve everything, I deserve a silver lining ending!!